Beyond Algorithms

I'm in a flurry of thoughts, but with whatever courage I can muster up, I find myself needing to write more openly and authentically than ever.

Social media and the craze of "keeping up" in the algorithms has gotten me in shallow thinking. This turns out to be quite problematic when I have always been a deep thinker, someone clutching my journal and referring to it whenever I needed to anchor down a thought so I didn't lose it to the ether.

At 30 years old, I've grown up with the internet, and have had my fair share of perusing forums like Neopets and GaiaOnline, having my own Blogspot and Xanga, and of course - the infamous MySpace bulletin boards and the cutthroat competition to be in someone's top 5.

As I created for myself and for the pure expression of whatever fueled my imagination, my soul, and my art, the internet was my safe grounds to explore what was in me, without the established worries of "caution: this will define your brand on the web forever".

Before I knew it was possible to become a somebody online, I enjoyed my time streaming video games on Twitch, connecting with fellow gamers and having a good laugh. Vowing to stream as a fun way to connect, to not take trolls seriously, since life was already stressful enough as it is. Somehow, I also sprinkled in advocacy for mental health, because of course, I was depressed and anxious like many of my fellow friends, gamers, and community members.

I attribute my habits of journaling, reading, and researching as the breeding grounds for my ever-growing curiosity. I realize now that I will forever ponder and contemplate the deeper meanings of spirit. The root of a concept, an idea, or a being is that they all carry some type of energy, spirit, and I find that both intriguing and reason for exploring the constitution of each spirit, so long as it is consensual in its desire of being known and understood, of course.

Where does that lead me now? Well, I heard of the concept of learning in public, and I have wanted to make this newsletter just that - a digital footprint, a publishing of what I am learning and what has led me to the progress of my learnings. I have struggled with grasping the theme behind my work and I realize because of the outside noise and advice to "find a niche, provide value upfront", etc. etc., I have allowed my own voice and desires to drown in favor of sounding just like everyone else.

In order to re-learn who I am, I will be creating as authentic to me as I can, piece by piece, work by work. Publishing this letter, posting my Threads, sharing on my IG stories and TikTok lives, will lead me step by step to who I am through my expressions and uploads. (At least, that's the hope).

Additionally, I have set out some rough guidelines to what my current interest and projects are:

• Filipino reclamation - researching, understanding, and preserving Filipino history, traditions, spirituality, beliefs, etc. I would like to know my ancestors, my roots, and be able to retain and guide this information forward to empower myself and future generations.
• Spiritual reconnection - becoming more intimate and deeply aware of my spirit, and spirits of all kinds, to discern abilities, gifts, and how this connection can inspire and help us navigate daily life, especially through challenges and transitions
• Digital archive/journaling - documenting and leaving a digital footprint for others to follow and gain wisdom, or to reflect further on their own life purposes or missions
• Knowledge attainment - reading, discussing content/art in a critical or long-form manner, feeding personal essays and in-depth conversations and contemplations
• Artistic expression - exploring any activities, hobbies, etc. that gets my creativity going, yes, even gaming as a means of artistic expression is important too
• Community and social engagements - connecting with more people so we may cross-pollinate and empower one another with the gift of new perspectives, shared presence, experiences, and knowledge. These connections also help me better understand myself, my values, and aspirations.
• Spiritual practices + physical movement - devoting to regular meditation, sound healing practices, yoga, walking, dancing, etc.

Again, this is a very rough guideline, and to be honest, my interests are deeply varied and I find myself thriving through having multiple projects running at once. I am also exploring herbalism, and finding my path with communing with plants and nature, though I suspect I will find this to be more spiritual than clinical. (I didn't list this separately, as I feel it falls under my spiritual reconnection bullet point.)

So how's that for creating more transparently and genuinely? Perhaps I was too concerned with not being curated or polished enough, but there is a freedom to being just as I am. Raw, messy, and sometimes a glimmer of genius, but real and compassionate as surely as my heart beats.

Yes, I want to integrate this method of learning in public through other mediums, like short-form videos (Tiktoks & IG Reels), vlogs (YouTube), podcasts, etc., however, I'm going to promise to pace myself, so I don't overload my system and end up crashing and burning and ceasing from creating all over again.

I so dearly believe that if I create my work honestly, release it into the world for it to be discovered, eventually, this work and my efforts will be found and appreciated.

If my words have resonated with your spirit or offered a moment of clarity on your path, I invite you to deepen our connection through a personalized tarot reading where we can explore your journey together. Those feeling called to support this work can join our spiritual community through a paid subscription, helping ensure these insights remain available for all who need them.

Oh - another aside, I created a resource list called the Herbal Library, it contains the links I've gathered through the herbalism conference I attended virtually last week.

Hopefully I'll see you live on TikTok this Sunday, March 2nd, at 8 PM PST. If not, I'd love to hear from you and chat via email, comments, or DM.

Until next time,

Nadine of the New Moon ♥